This year. 2020. It finds me at an odd crossroad. You see, I’ve been doing this mom thing for 17 years. It feels like a lifetime. But also like only a blink of an eye.
And I have this inner struggle. For more. It’s partly just the way I am wired, but also opportunities beckoning me.
I want to step out. Try new things.
While that is not inherently bad, my motivation behind my desire is a strong indication of whether these should be pursued or not. Basically…what is my why?
You see, there are so many that are calling me to do more. Be more. You know: #bossbabe. And while I have absolutely nothing against boss babes. {You go, girl!} But just like jeans aren’t a one size fits all, neither is how we spend our time.
I do not think that there is anything wrong with encouraging women as they pursue a dream. But not all dreams are worth pursuing. There I said it. Just because a certain path is right for one woman, it doesn’t mean that it’s right for another.
And so, when I look at women achieving a level of success that I long for, I am inspired. But I cannot compare myself. Or my life to theirs.
Why?
Because, just maybe: God is calling me to be FAITHFUL. To what He has placed right in front of me.
And that. It’s the essence of this year for me.
I felt this growing deep in my heart in the month leading up to New Year’s Eve. But I tried to ignore it. You know, just in case it wasn’t really the focus God was giving me.
Yet…it kept coming back into the forefront of my mind.
BE FAITHFUL.
Okay, Lord. Let me “wear” faithfulness for a little bit. You know, just to see.
And that is what January has been all about for me.
First: what is He calling me to be faithful to? And so, I began to examine the roles I play in life, which led to leaning more deeply into those.
Wife. I realized that after God, this is my most important relationship. With a convicted heart, I confessed that I have not been honoring James with the fullest devotion I am able to give him.
Asking him what he needs. How I can help him. Be attentive to his needs.
Mom. Lest I get weepy, I won’t get too mushy. But I realized that my role as a mom to the extent it is at now, won’t last forever. And each day is one day closer to this role changing. Shifting.
They won’t always need me to the capacity they do now and I don’t ever want to regret how I have spent this time.
BE FAITHFUL.
To what God have given me.
To this season in life.
To where I am. Right now.
This first month of the year has been an experiment. One in which I poured myself more into my roles of wife and mom. When given the choice between working more and my family: I’ve chosen them.
I’ve been bringing myself back to those years when life was simpler. You know: pre-internet, social media, Pinterest…
When all I compared myself to today was who I was yesterday.
My heart is longing for that. Pleading, actually.
What has this month showed me? That being faithful really is what God is calling me to. And so, I declare that 2020 is my year to BE FAITHFUL.
Pour into my husband in a way that shows him how important he is to me.
Soak in all the days I have with my children.
Why?
Because I know that the one who calls me to it, is Himself faithful to carry out this good work He has begun in me. I also know from experience that when He calls, it is never wrong. He will bless the time that I focus on this season in life. How do I know that? Because I’ve already seen the evidence: an inner peace, better sleep, and deep contentment in my soul.
BE FAITHFUL.
To the season in life I am right now.
Why?
Because it’s the one thing I will never regret.
Perfectly stated and words I do needed to hear myself! Love ya…so glad you’re in my life xo. Bethany
*so (stinkin autocorrect)
You go girl!!!!
Leigh – as always, you inspire with your words. I’m beyond the season of life that you’re in, with my sons grown and not needing me in that same way as before, but I look back with no regrets because I wholeheartedly gave myself to that season knowing that it was a temporary one. Now, I’m in a season of pondering how my life will have meaning for the next decade or beyond if the Lord grants me those days. I’m staring down retirement in the next few months and I’m scared – to be blunt. I need routine and not having a job to go to everyday is a little terrifying. I know the Lord will see me through it and trust He will supply the guidance I am seeking for what lays ahead. You’re always a delight to listen to in your stories and you inspire me as I watch you do DIY’s – or whatever else you tackle – that I can do that too! Thank you..
When we’re faithful in our homes our houses become sacred spaces. Our ministry as wives and moms is power disguised as the mundane. Kudos to you for being obedient to Gods call on your life in this season.
Does this mean you’ll be giving up your IG? I can see why if you do. Priorities and IG is down on that list. I would miss you but would understand. 💛
I needed to read this SO much!! Thank you for sharing! ❤️
Beautifully written and a great reminder to me as well.
Love this! I chose “LOVE” as my WOTY for similar reasons (although my kiddo is a toddler).
I love this soooo much. It’s exactly what I needed to hear. I love your account because it’s so humble, kind and real. Exactly what the world needs. Thank you for being brave to be you. Xoxo
Beautiful Leigh!! Enjoy the days!! They sure are blessings from God 💕
I believe God used you as His tool in this post/message, to spread this wisdom to all of us here. Thank you for your willingness to share your journey.
Last year, my anxiety was at a all time high and dealing with a lot of panic attacks. My doctor prescribed some anti-anxiety meds just for a while and set me up to see a behavior medicine doctor. My doctor asked about what service work I was doing, I named off the five church groups and volunteering I was doing. He encouraged me to pick just one or two groups that needed the most help. I did and my anxiety quieted down significantly. I get asked a lot to join other groups in church, but I kindly decline saying I cannot take on any more at this time. The one group I stuck with, which has few members, but does important service (funeral luncheons, for one) asked me to serve as president starting in January. It made me laugh. I am serving in that role, but with a lot of encouragement and help. I believe God is using this role to grow me. (I am the shy, behind the scenes kind of girl). A lesson that is very difficult for me to learn is that just because something is good, doesn’t mean it is good for me.
Thank you for all you do on instagram. I found you a few months back. I have 5 growing children and we homeschool as well. Thank you for being faithful to what God is calling you to. You inspire and encourage me. God Bless your faithfulness.
Leigh, thanks so much for sharing your heart in this little space. I too sometimes get distracted in the “boss babe” era. And while I fully support and respect the women who are pursuing that dream, I am not in that place at this point in life. With kids ranging from 8-14 that I homeschool,I am in the trenches of life and I am ok with that. It’s not glamerous or always even fun and there are days when I long for my time to be my own but I try to cherish this place God has me in. He blessed me with these three particular humans to raise and there is some much beauty in that! C.S.Lewis stated it so wonderfully when he said,” Homemaking is surely in reality the most important work in the world. The homemaker’s job is the one for which all other’s exist.”. What a blessing to be that homemaker for my family!! Thanks for speaking out and reminding us we are not alone!